If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
