Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
