I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
