Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
