wanna go halves on a baby?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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