this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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