At least make sure they are 18
Why
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
