and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
