You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
