I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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