guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
