we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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