I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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