I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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