I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
