Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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