Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this hospital has no fireball
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
