he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
