I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
