Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He felt like a one man threesome
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
