yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My vagina just recognized that song.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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