Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
