My pussy is not your playground.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
