please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
