We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
