it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
