Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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