And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
