in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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