Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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