Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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