i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just googled if crying burns calories
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
