Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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