3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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