Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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