we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
