I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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