Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
