is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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