and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
