My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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