Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I touched a dick in church today
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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