i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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