i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
