i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
there is glitter all over my balls
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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