he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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