Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
