my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
