It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
