never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
