worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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