hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
