I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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